i hate how shy i am kill me now

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AHHHHDIE

bro like im actually gonna blow my brains out. I cannot do this anymore. i joined clubs to distract me and yes i enjoy them but why do i still feel this way

maybe it was stupid of me to get hoco dress like i had a reason to even go. I dont have a boyfriend, i dont have a date, the guy i like is not the type of guy to go to things like that and its ughhhhhh. Kill me already kill me kill me kill meeeee please. Everyday i go it feels like im sinking deeper and deeper in this dread ahhhh kill meeeeeeeeeee

i hate using this stupid app on my phone bc i use autocorrect for literally everything and it cuts it out when i use it like dude wtf? am i suppoaed to know how to spell wvery word jn my vicabulary?

From Blogger iPhone client

I might explode

I am so frustrated with everyone around me its absolutely insane. People are stupid and immature. Realize how were in high school and not elementary or middle school anymore. GROW TF UP!!! Why are you causing unnecessary drama and then running away. I dont care anymore. The people who were doing is i assume are val and ariel bc they left the gc but i really really dont care. This whole friend group could fall apart tomorrow and i wouldnt want to kms any more than i do alr. Everytime i think im on good terms withs someone and dont have any animosity towards them, they always do something to prove me wrong and its so draining. Some of the people are people im around unconcentually so pretty much HAVE to speak to them every single day. I hate people who realize theyre bothering me but continue to talk to me as if i didnt just say im busy. When i say no. I mean no. Dont ask me again cause your gonna piss me off even more. Im irritated all the time. I hate everyone. Everyone. Even the new huzz i genually cant with anyone rn. Dieee. If i were to distance myself id have to hear this "are you mad at me" crap 24/7 and its exhausting. I cant talk to anyone without it just being between us its so so tiring. Please stop that i just cant anymore 

bruhh

Recently ive been getting alot worse. Like alot. Its on my mind all the time. I hate talking about it cause al i can think about is my mom .is it selfish that i dont immediately think of the rest of family? Like my uncle, my other grandma? My little cousins? My siblings? Or even my dad? My mom is always the first, and thats what makes me cry the most, thinking of my mom. As much as i talk about her on here in many ways i truly cant find it in me to hate my mom. Shes just trying. I love my mom, i just dont know how to express it and maybe thats my fault. Of course id feel for the rest of my family, but my mom, tears stream down, complete waterworks. Not that itll stop me its just a thought. i dont know how id do it, but id want it be quick and quiet to not disturb anyone. Im really surprised ive been around this long

Anyways, today i found out people have been talking about my friend group in school. I would too, Most of my friends are passed around alot i cannot lie, they said i was nice but I'm weird enough to make them uncomfortable, mind you i dont even talk to anyone so how could i make anyone uncomfortable. And if you felt uncomfortable why didnt you open your mouth and say something you simpleton? I hate stupid idiots wholl talk about it behind you back before opening their mouth and speaking up for themselves.  stupid idiots. Keep your mouth shut if you dont even know what or who your talking about. Whoever said that must not even know me because MULTIPLE people have said that i have never once made them uncomfortable because i like to make it clear WHATEVER I SAY IS A JOKE YOU IDIOT. Whoever said that utter crap truly needs to realize theres a differnce between a joke and being weird.