Im so done seriously. I really want this to end, i thought i was getting better but im just getting worse and worse and i dont know what to do gosh just kill me already. Can something just happen to me already? I dont care if its good or bad i just need something. Im not blaming anyone for the reason im feeling this way because i know how much my entire generation lacks that ability to comfort and help. I wish it wasnt that way i wish i could feel loved and supported by my friends. Sure they all know me and talk to me but i just feel so dull around them and its so suffocating. This whole school is like this. I try to talk to new people and it ends up feeling the same way so i has to be me. Maybe i should be alone and not have friends and never speak again. I dnt even feel alve right now i feel so empty, like completly empty not even an ounce full. I just want this feeling to end just please. Its only monday. I dont blame my mom anymore. It was never her fault im this way i know its just me and i shouldnt blame other people for my . own pronblems. I dont want to kill myself. I do not want to kill myself. I want something horrible to happen to me somethig so quiet no one will even notice. I just want this feeling over with. Im getting all As finally thats all i really needed. My little brother is getting used to me and that upsets me because i dont even know if ill be here for his first birthday.