He was born June 12th, I couldn't find myself to feel excited like my sister. I felt a relief for my mom, must've been hard to carry the baby. Though I still cant find an ounce of excitement. "oh dont say that he's your brother." this is how I feel period. When I was told she was pregnant I wasn't excited then so what makes you so sure I am now, i dont wanna visit the baby because i dont want to take out my jealousy or be upset. its not a big deal. i dont want to visit the baby. Every time the baby is mentioned i am filled with the heavy feeling of dread and i hate it so so badly. I know i should just get over how itll never be just me and mom again but its difficult when its the only fun memories i had of her. Maybe thats my fault since i never speak to her anymore, i try but its like speaking to a complete stranger its not a good feeling especially when its someone your supposed to feel close and safe with.
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